I always take relationship to the next level. If that works out, I take it to the next level after that till I finally reach that level where it becomes absolutely necessary for me to leave.
Do you ever feel you become the worst version of yourself? That a Pandora's Box of all the secret hateful parts -- your arrogance, your spite, your condescension -- has sprung open. Someone provokes you, and instead of just smiling and moving on, you zing them!
Sometimes I wonder about my life. I lead a small life. Well, meaningful, but small. And sometimes I wonder, do I do it because I like it or because I haven't been brave? So much of what I see reminds me of somthing I read in a book when shouldn't it be the other way around? I don't really want an answer. I just want to send this cosmic question into the VOID.
The whole purpose of places like Subway is for people with no decision-making ability what's so ever to make six decisions just to buy a sandwich. So people who don't know what the F***ing they are doing or who on earth they are can, only $4.95, get not just a sandwich but an absolutely defining sense of self.
The feeling is literally like someone reached into my chest, ripped out my heart, and smeared it all over my life, and now there's like this incredible abyss, and I'm falling and I keep falling and I don't think I'm ever gonna stop.
I don't feel "love" or "crush" this time. It's all animal.
12 月 8 日
I can't tell uさんの投稿:
I want a lot of things. I wanna be with the person I love everyday. I want him to love me back. I want just a moment of relief from the wrenching pain of know that's never gonna happen.